Why Be Normal? Happiness, Mania, Coffee Shops and Ironman

Images like that left my running buddies and I seriously saying repeatedly out loud "Who gets to just do this?" It was one of those days where I was truly appreciative of everything around me; my functioning legs, my friends, the air, the sun, my electrolytes, shot blocks, shoes... all of it! My partner in marathon training crime (oh yeah, did I mention I'm training for my first marahon?), Kel, and I went on a bit of a detour to locate water and ended up on Teddy Roosevelt Island (she had never been there) and found the lovely statue of Stalin (yes, that is a joke for all you non DC folks reading).

This gave us an extra half a mile of trails with amazing foliage and views of DC. We have decided now that for each weekend team run we are going to go rouge for a bit. [Insert inappropriately used Robert Frost phrase here]

Kel finished her 9.5 miles and I went out for a bit more to hit my 12 since I am preparing for the City of Lenoir Greenway Half Marathon in two weeks. It was THE BEST 12 miles I have ever done -- not fastest, but best. Didn't even feel it until about mile 10. Finally, training is starting to pay off.

On the way home, grabbed amazing vegan soul food at Woodlands Vegan Bistro (vegan fried "chicken", mac and cheese, greens, peanut butter shake) and when I got back to my little corner in the hood I learned that the new INDEPENDENT coffee shop  - CULTURE COFFEE - on my street finally opened!! In past few months we have gotten a bike share and a coffee shop! Next up - Hipsters (see end of this story).

Okay, this post is quickly just becoming narrative of my day - apologies to those who don't care, you can skip to the last paragraph for the moral, mental health conclusion.

THEN I spent most of the rest of my day obsessively watching returns of my friends participating in IMFL -- for the non- triathletes reading this, that's 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike and 26.2 mile run. In particular I was following my friends Tom (my tri son!) and Aileen (my partner in gravity and insanity).

Tom, in his first Ironman, made us all proud by finishing NINTH in his age group in his first IRONMAN! He made me cry. In a good way.

And the highlight of the day was watching my good friend, Aileen, fight through pain and suffering and self-doubt and swim anxiety and injury to finish her THIRD Ironman with a Personal Record! Watching her cross the finish line made me, probably for the first real time, say to myself, "yeah, I want to do that."

Oh - and this happened while I was watching:

And then the perfect ended with my new, very young neighbor having a "small gathering" involving loud twentysomethings, vomit on my front stairs, horrible music (omg I AM my mother) and, yes, red solo cups. You know, what "normal" people do on a Saturday.

But even my interrupted sleep can't ruin the happiness from yesterday. For folks like me who are challenged with manic episodes, happiness can often be as scary as depression. It's hard to describe, but I will try my best. Almost everyone seems to have a basic concept of what depression feels like, so I never feel like I have to describe it. But mania -- for me it is even more overwhelming. It takes over and doesn't feel anything like happiness. Happiness, I can pause, step back, name, see and define. Mania is like being on a speeding bike downhill and you can see the pretty leaves and feel the clean air and you know you are sitting on a really great bike you love, but really things are 100% out of your control, images are flying by, you could crash at anytime and you just ignore that fear completely because all you need is more speed. And you never want it to end. You are afraid it will end, so you just keep speeding, speeding, speeding until you hit something.

So that's why yesterday was so special for me.

Plus, I made sure my little dog barked xtra this morning at 5 am and am in the middle of an awesome dubstep medley with my speakers pointed at the shared walls because I actually cannot stand music that loud anymore.