A year ago I was diagnosed as bipolar. Okay, that is a lie. A year ago I was re-diagnosed and finally paid attention to it -- and finally had enough financial resources to deal with it effectively. I began seeing a qualified psychiatrist I trust and taking the medications he recommended. I put in place a diet, exercise, meditation and therapy plan that works for me and compliments the pharmaceuticals.
About nine months ago I decided to make this blog public. It was because of Sandy Hook. I knew that after that incident folks would be talking about guns, and I wanted to do my little bit to make sure we were also discussing mental health.
And I wanted to do my little bit to "come out" as someone who is happy and healthy and has a mental illness -- because there is such shame around it.
The reception was great. People have reached out and thanked me and it's that feedback that keeps me going.
Last Monday I turned on NPR as I sat down to work. The news told me of a gunman on the loose at Navy Yard in my own city of Washington, DC. The rest of the day was a fog - one gunman, multiple gunmen, who do I know who works there? lives near there? three dead, four dead, 10 shot, 12 shot, gunman down, 13 dead...
I'm told I am not supposed to spend my time learning about the gunman, but instead should remember the names of the deceased. And I will. I don't mean ANY disrespect to the deceased and their loved ones. What happened here Monday was horrible.
But I can't help but read about Aaron Alexis. He reported hearing voices. He struggled with anger and rage and sought refuge and assistance through Buddhism and mental health professionals. I'm not supposed to feel badly for him -- but I do. Because I identify with him. I am lucky that my condition does not sound as server as his was, but here is someone who clearly needed help and was suffering most likely not only from a mental illness but from surviving war conditions -- and his past seems to indicate that he knew he was sick and he did try to seek help. For whatever reasons, which I won't pretend to know, the assistance didn't work.
I can't help but wonder if he had been offered the chance to be put on a voluntary DO NOT SELL list for firearms, if he would have signed himself up. I know I would raise my hand immediately if such a list existed. I don't know if this would prevent this epidemic of tragic mass shootings, but it certainly wouldn't hurt.
Labels: Aaron Alexis, DC, gun control, guns, mental health, Navy Yard, shooting
