I have been meaning to start this blog for many months now. But like any good, crazy, bipolar genius when I am happy I feel like I have nothing to say except sappy thankfulness and when I am down I feel like everything I have to say is worthless and no one can take any meaning from it because it has all been said before.
Well, today I am down and I am going to try a different track. I am going to write about it and if people want to read, they can. If not... I will work on not feeling like I have let them down.
It has been a tough few weeks. Like any good athlete struggling with some sort of depression, I use physical exercise as one of my "drugs" to keep me functional. My latest sport of choice is triathlon, which I took up last May. I am not fast and will never be competitive, but I love it. And in this off season I decided to start training for my first ever Marathon, to be run February 17, 2013.
And then, I got a stress reaction (possible fracture in my foot). I ran a half marathon on it anyway.. or at least the first eight miles of one and then ran/walked the rest because I was in pain and feeling horrible. I am horrible at understanding injury. One of the great features of being bipolor, I believe, was that I could always push through whatever pain I wanted. I could always take myself past whatever limit I needed to (at least in terms of everything except speed)... and it even felt good to do so.
But since I went back on medication, that super power is no longer and I am trying to practice limits and moderation. So after the race I went to an ortho (found a great one in Maryland outside DC if any of my DMV friends need one) who confirmed what I thought -- likely stress fracture and definite stress reaction, no running for six weeks.
Because I can't have a simple reaction to anything, part of me was excited that I could have some time off from training and an louder part of me was devastated and depressed that I would have to take time off from training. Especially running.
I hate running. I love running. I need running. Running is what I do at least four out of 10 or so scheduled workouts a week. I was told I could bike as long as it didn't hurt. But unfortunately, that hurt too..
So what am I going to do? The only thing I can do. Swim, bike a little indoors on my trainer and try not to freak out about the lack of routine and extra free time I suddenly have in my schedule. I am trying out this very cool product which I guess I should review in a few weeks - Correct Toes.
And I am sure in the coming weeks and months I will buy even more running shoes (Trying Altra next) and write reviews of those as well (did I mention on top of having a broken brain I also have bunions -- and torn cartilage in my knees.. yeah lots to write about).Labels: foot, injury, triathlon
